Heathen
by chekaymor
Summary: Buffy has to talk to Angel, but Spike standing in the lobby was not something she was prepared for. My imagining of their first contact post-Chosen. Cannon until it's not. Higher rating in case I go on more with this story.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is my first fic in years, but I'm really excited about it. Hope you like it. Reviews are very welcomed!

"You call me monster, heathen... Maybe I am. No," he paused, "I am. I know I am, but I also got my soul back, and took care of the Lil bit while you were... And not to mention saved the world!"

She looked up to meet his gaze.

"But I was still never good enough for you..." he added after a moment of introspection, "Not really... I knew it, I just didn't want it to be true..."

"Spike-"

"Let me..." his eyes pleaded with her,"I need this..."

She nodded but remained silent as he continued his confession.

"You have a kind of darkness like I've never known."

"Stop," she winced, not wanting to hear all of that again.

His jaw tightened at the interruption before he went on, "And the most amazing light I've ever seen."

Once again, her eyes were drawn up to his, watter forming at the inner corners.

"I forget what I am when I'm with you," he admitted quietly, searching her for any sign that she might feel the same way.

She knew that look well, but this was a different William than she had seen before.

"Who are you then?" she dared to ask, "When you're with me."

His silence seemed as eternal as he while she watched him shift, suddenly uncomfortable in his own skin. It was such a vulnerable response, so human.

"In my life I was one person and in my afterlife, I became something as far from that as I could, but you... You bring out the me in between the man and the monster..."

Her response was weak, "Why me?"

She knew his answer, but so many things were different. She wanted to hear it from him now.

"Buffy... It was always going to be you," he smiled a little before adding, "Dru saw it coming."

Her eyes widened and before she could work herself all up into finding some way to be angry with him, Spike spoke up again.

"This was not the way I interpreted that particular prediction," he motioned between himself and the slayer, "Probably because I didn't want to accept it yet... Plus Dru's visions were only right about a third of the time anyway, so you know... this one's not on me."

"Spike," she interrupted softly, "Can I speak?"

He nodded, for once glad to be silenced.

"I get why you'd be hesitant to call at first... Our relationship hasn't been the easiest, but after everything... We were close, right?" she didn't pause for an answer, "I mean, I thought we were, and at the end, when you... When it all collapsed and I told you-"

"You loved me..." he finished at a whisper.

"You said that I didn't..." she replied, looking down at her feet nervously, "Did you think everything that happened toward the end wasn't real? That it was just because the world was ending?"

"Wasn't it?"

"It felt real to me..."

"What about now?" he took a hopeful step toward her but immediately took it back again, "What do you feel now?"

She honestly wasn't sure how to answer that.

"Everything..." was all she could manage, emotion threatening to take hold if she wasn't careful.

"I need more than that, love..." he challenged.

Things weren't what they were before. The things that bothered her about their relationship at the time didn't seem important anymore. This was a whole new world, and she was as tired as he was of fighting whatever it was that kept drawing them together.

"Buffy..."

"I love you," she stated, plain and simple.

This time there was no Apocalypse to hide behind, no flowery words to conceal her meaning so that she could later take it back. This was it. There was no going back.

"You're serious?" he asked looking as if he were afraid of the answer either way.

She stepped up to close the space between them before giving him a solid and unwavering, "Yes."

"This should be interesting then," he flashed that wicked grin of his and kissed her longingly.

Her hand moved to his cheek as their lips parted and her eyes gazed deeply into his.

"This doesn't seem real," he finally spoke.

"My thoughts exactly," a voice spoke awkwardly from the doorway, "Hi Buffy, Harmony said you were in here... said you wanted to see me."

"Of course she did," Spike grumbled under his breath, remembering how he had specifically told her to keep that ponce out when he pulled Buffy into the empty office space.

It wasn't the way he wanted her to find out. She had surprised him when she showed up at Wolfram and Hart, but it was his fault for being such a coward and waiting as long as he had to talk to her.

"Spike," Buffy's voice cut through his thoughts, and his eyes immediately met with hers as her fingers brushed over his upper arm, "I have to talk to Angel about some things, but we aren't done here."

His eyes softened as she grinned playfully at him

"No we're not," was his only response.

"Should I have knocked?" Angel asked as they exited the room, clearly irritated, but he immediately went silent at the look on Buffy's face.

"How long has he been back?" she asked, not meeting his gaze.

"Months..." he answered simply.

"And no one thought to tell me?" she looked more hurt than angry which he wasn't expecting from her.

"Buffy, I-"

"It's fine... More important matters to deal with," she replied quickly as she swept past him and into his office, obviously expecting him to catch up.

Spike emerged moments later from the room he had procured for Buffy and himself and crossed the lobby toward Angel's office. He stopped just before reaching it and waved off Harmony's attempts to stop him as he cracked open the door to hear what Buffy and Angel were saying.

"When?" he could hear Angel ask.

"Soon..." Buffy responded solemnly, "One of our teams was tracking it, but they lost it just outside of the city... I just thought you should know before it can do any real damage."

"I'll get someone on that," Angel replied absentmindedly.

"Get someone on that, huh?" Buffy seemed amused, "Listen to you..."

"I could say the same..." he smiled, "'One of our teams'?"

A comfortable silence fell over them until it was finally Angel who broke it.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you that Spike was back, it was... it was a strange time... which I know sounds like a horrible excuse, but it also might have been partially due to the fact that I liked you not knowing he was back... It wasn't really my decision to make, or at least that's what I kept telling myself..."

"I can understand that," she responded honestly.

"I still don't like it," he threw in, clearly referring to what he'd seen between her and Spike.

"I'm aware," was all she seemed to be willing to say to him on the matter.

Spike let the door close, not wanting to push his luck, but there was now a proud smile playing across his face.

"Weirdo..." Harmony voiced to herself.

"What's that now?" he asked, turning his attention toward the blonde vampire at the nearby receptionist's desk.

"Oh nothing!" she grinned cheerfully.

"Uh huh..." he scoffed before walking over to a nearby chair and taking a seat.

"Slayer lovers..." she added again to herself and made a 'yuck' face before going back to work on her computer.

Ignoring the sign that was visible right over his shoulder saying not to, Spike pulled out a cigarette and lit it with the silver lighter that he pulled from his coat pocket.

He had to do something to pass the time while he awaited his slayer's return.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: This part gets a little AU if you read the comics for season 8 which I do reference earlier so it's happening the way it did in the comics only without the Dawn part and it's obviously gonna change the storyline after this point too.

DISCLAIMER: These characters are not mine, but the brilliant creations of Joss Whedon. I own nothing.

Chapter 2

"How long are you sticking around this time?" Angel's voice was heard through the quiet lobby as he and Buffy exited his office.

Her eyes cut to an expectant Spike for a moment before she replied with a simple, "I'm not really sure yet..."

"Buffy?!" a familiar voice exclaimed, pulling her focus away from the vampires and toward the stairs.

"Wesley!" she said with a smile as he approached.

As she exchanged pleasantries with the former watcher, her smile widened at the sight of Spike's growing frustration from his seat across the lobby.

Wesley let his end of the conversation trail off as he took notice of the slayer's waning attention. A glance over his shoulder revealed the source of her distraction. From the look on her face, it was apparent that there was more to their story than Angel had let on, but the former watcher was far too tired to get into the whole thing now. But across the room, Spike's agitation was easily discernible. He rested his elbows on his knees impatiently as he watched the interaction, and from the look on Buffy's face, she too was eager to get through it quickly.

"You know, I should probably get home," Wesley spoke up, giving Angel a nod before turning back to the slayer before him, "Great to see you, Buffy."

"Oh definitely!" she responded, a little embarrassed to have zoned out for most of their short conversation.

She still wasn't over the fact that Spike was back and probably wouldn't be for a while. Being able to see him and touch him was too much for her still, and it was all she could seem to focus on at the moment.

"Night, Wes," Angel added as the dark haired man departed.

"Well, I'll let you..." Angel trailed off.

"Yeah, I should probably..." Buffy started, but Angel cut her off.

"I understand," he shifted uncomfortably, "You two have a lot to discuss."

She touched his arm gently, "Thank you."

Spike stood as she approached, unsure of their new relationship if that's even what it was. His demeanor reminded her of just how old he was and how much time had changed. She could almost picture what he must have looked like when he was alive and how different he must have been.

"Hi," was all she could muster with him staring at her the way he was.

"Can we-"

"Go somewhere else? Yes please," she finished for him.

"Brilliant."

"I have a hotel room not far from here..." she added shyly.

A soft smile tugged at his lips, "Sounds good to me."

…...

"So this is it," she stated simply as they walked into the hotel room.

They hadn't spoken much on the way there, but she could already feel her mind trying to fill the silence with whatever popped into it. A bad habit of hers when there are awkward silences or anything awkward really. And this definitely counted as one of those times.

"You know it's really kind of-" her words instantly fell from her lips into silence as she turned to find him much closer than expected.

"Buffy..." his voice was hushed, almost other worldly, and it left her feeling weak at the knees.

His hand brushed a strand of hair from her face like it had many times before, but this time Buffy could feel her skin come alive beneath his. It was almost too much.

Neither knew what to say. They just stood in silence until finally Buffy slipped her shoes off, remaining otherwise still before him with her eyes transfixed on his.

He tilted his head in curiosity at her actions until her hands reached up and removed his coat. It fell with a light thud onto the floor.

"Buffy, what are you-"

"Spike, I don't have the words. Since that day, I have thought about what I would say to you a million times if I had the chance... but none of that matters at all to me right now."

Her eyes made everything fall away, but in the back of his mind the fear crept in that it would be no different than before. She'd wake up and want to run away.

"I just think-"

"Spike, please..." she interrupted before using his own words against him, "I need this."

Before he knew it, he was devouring every bit of her that he could. First her lips, then her neck, her collar, then her shoulder as he pushed the sleeve of her shirt down her arm. His arms wrapped around her as he brought his eyes up to meet hers again. Neither spoke, she just walked him toward the bed and gave his chest a slight nudge, and he let himself sink back into a seated position. He slipped his hands beneath the hem of her shirt and raised it over her head. As it fell behind her, she lowered herself over him.

"I love you," she reassured him when his eyes gave away the fear he was trying to hide.

"I am kind of nervous though..." she added after a pause, giving into the vulnerability of the moment, "Really nervous actually..."

He kissed her, more softly this time.

"I am too."

After that, there was no hesitation in either of them, but it wasn't like before. They were tender and connected. This was something real, something new.

After, they lay there together in a comfortable silence. Buffy realized this was the quietest she had ever seen the vampire since the moment they met. The situation seemed to be having a profound effect on him.

"I've never felt anything like that before..." he finally spoke.

"Really?" she replied comically, "I mean I knew I was good, but-"

"Not what I meant, pet," he smirked, "Not that you don't always leave a man speechless."

She smiled sweetly at him, "What did you mean?"

"I never had a soul before... when we'd-"

"Oh," she sat up and turned to him in surprise as his words sunk in, "...Wow..."

Now she was silent. But soon shock melted into pride, and a smile spread across her face.

"Wanna go again?"

A devilish grin adorned his face as he pulled her onto his lap, "Oh I'm not even close to being done..."

…...

They awoke begrudgingly the next day to someone knocking at the door.

"We don't need any bloody room service!" the vampire yelled, coming out from under the pillows, "Come back later!"

"Who was that?" Dawn's voice called back.

The slayer jumped from the bed and clothed herself as quickly as her tired, sore body would allow her.

"Dawn, I'll be right there!" she responded breathlessly, "What time is it?"

"It's past noon," Spike answered after grabbing at the clock which had fallen from the nightstand

"Buffy, who _is_ that?" Dawn called again, more desperately this time.

Buffy threw open the door, "Dawnie..."

But the young woman's eyes weren't on her but on something just over Buffy's shoulder.

"Hey, niblit," the vampire spoke up, having dressed himself as well without the elder Summers noticing.

"Spike... You're alive?" she spoke through tears before running and hugging him, "But how?"

"That's a long story..." he replied.

His eyes met with Buffy's. He hadn't even told her that much yet.

"Story for another time..." he decided, and the answer seemed to be enough for the moment.

Dawn pulled back, noticing the look of the room around her, and she couldn't help but look back and forth between the two with a smirk.

"Hmm," she remarked before grinning largely at them, "So, where are we going for lunch?"

"Well, I'm stuck here, pet," Spike reminded her.

"Right..." she furrowed her brow then smiled hopefully, "Pick up and daytime television?"

"I could eat," Buffy said with a shrug, not ready to leave the room yet.

"We should probably turn some lights on in here then," Dawn teased.

"Oh yeah!" Buffy jumped to it, a little embarrassed.

That seemed to be happening a lot lately.

"So, you've at least gotta give me the abridged version of what happened 'cause this is insane!" the younger Summers piped up once Buffy took a seat next to Spike on the bed.

Spike lowered the remote and looked down pensively.

"Okay, here goes..." he sighed, "My essence was tied to that amulet thing that killed me, and it was sent to Angel. It brought me back, I was a ghost, big battle, haunted Angel some more, and then I wasn't a ghost. So, ya know, here I am!"

"Sweet," Dawn replied with a smile before picking the remote up and flipping through the channels.

"You were a ghost?" Buffy couldn't help but ask.

"Yeah, and the grim reaper almost took me to hell, the git," he replied with a snarl.

"Wow... you have been back a long time..." Buffy remarked solemnly.

"Buffy, I'm..." he took her hand, "I'm sorry, love..."

She nodded, not wanting to go on any further in front of Dawn.

"So what're we orderin' then, bit?" he turned his attention to Dawn, but when he tried to remove his hand, he felt Buffy link her fingers with his.

Again his face betrayed him and Dawn saw it clearly. There was definitely something going on, and it wasn't like their usual something.

"Um... I... There's a pizza place down the street," she fumbled before looking at Buffy, "Work for you?"

"Yeah, sure," she replied, "Sounds good."

Dawn called the number for the spot and began placing their order.

"I have to go back," Buffy let slip much sooner than she meant to, but there it was.

"When?" he asked, not missing a beat.

"I was going to help Angel if I was needed in this case and then leave as soon as it was over, but I don't think he's going to need me... so, soon, I guess..." was her quick response.

"Oh... okay," he nodded, trying to seem unaffected, "I understand, got a job to do after all-"

"I want you to come back with me."

Dawn hung up the phone before Spike had a chance to speak.

"I'll head down to get it in like 15 minutes," she announced as she plopped down in a chair next to the bed and once again began flipping through channels, "Ooh cartoons!"

"Okay..." Spike said under his lack of breath, more to himself than anyone else.


End file.
